I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
