I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
