I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
