how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
