i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
