The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
