Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
pray to the hookup gods
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
