Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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