I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're like the curious george of whores
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
