god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Terrible idea I love it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
