He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize