She's JV to your varsity
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
