Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
