Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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