the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
