You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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