Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
