do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
