Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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