are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
