She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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