your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
