only if we run a train.
done.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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