I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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