just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
