Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
