Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
