we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
