DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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