I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
