Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
