i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
