They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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