he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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