i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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