I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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