he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
