Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
