How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You took a bar mat shot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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