We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
