In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize