I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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