I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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