Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
