Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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