2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They have beer where we have blood.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
