I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
