i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
