Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Please don't give away my fajitas
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
