He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize