we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
