In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My pussy is not your playground.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
