That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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