did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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