you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize