Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
