Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize