i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize