i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
