I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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