idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
