At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize