You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
