Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
