Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
