I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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