Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
