Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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