Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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