i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
