The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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