She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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