my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
