just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
well you can't waste a boner
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
