I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Someone signed my nipple.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
